INTRODUCTION
As you know, or are just finding out… I invite everyone who lays eyes on my website to message me with a topic that they would like discussed over the ACF blog. Well, what better way to begin day one of the ACF blog than to discuss the roles of women in marriage and the church… holy cow! I must admit, I am slightly terrified to be taking such an enormous topic so early on (meaning the very first ACF blog post ever… in history). However, I will try to set aside my timidity for it is clear that God wishes for me to dive in head first. This will not be a short blog post. The issue at hand is a delicate and very sacred one that requires extensive prayer and context. I do also realize that what is said here may offend some people. If so, know that I am deeply sorry. My goal is to write and apply the truth of the gospel, so if any of the words written here are not truth in the eyes of God, I pray that they will be forgotten and forgiven. Now… without further delay, let us begin.
MAN AND WOMAN IN CREATION
There is no better place to begin the examination of the role of women in marriage than Genesis 1? Here man and woman, along with the rest of the universe, are created by God.
“Let us make man in our image, after our likeness… So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:26-27, ESV).
To clarify if there is any misunderstanding, “man” is a term used to here to describe generically “mankind” and not simply the male form of humanity. Now, this is really the only mention of the creation of man and woman in Genesis 1. God blesses them to fill the earth and saw that they were good. Moving on to Genesis 2, which many misinterpret as being somehow dislocated from Genesis 1, we find a more detailed account of the creation of humanity. Using a literary flashback, we are taken to the day of creation from Genesis 1 “when no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up…” (Genesis 2:5, ESV). First, Adam is created:
“… And there was no man to work the ground, and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground – then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature” (Genesis 2:5-7, ESV).
After Adam was created, he was placed in the Garden of Eden alone to care for the beautiful place. However, Adam was alone… and God did not see this as a good thing. This is where the discussion of marriage and the role of the woman begins.
God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18, ESV). “The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:20-22, ESV).
I want to stop here momentarily to discuss the term “helper” used to describe Eve’s purpose with Adam. Often, I believe, people interpret this and use this term to undermine the woman’s role within the sanctity of marriage. After all, isn’t a helper someone who does the bidding of another? Well, not exactly. In the case of Eve, a helper is meant to mean the one who will give strength and support to the one being helped. This does not at any point along the way indicate that the woman is any less a) created in the image of God, b) weaker than the man, c) inferior to the man. Returning to verse 18, the meaning of “fit for him” can also mean, “corresponding to” Adam. Are man and woman literally created as equal or images of one another? No. However, again it is not implied that Eve is inferior, but rather complementary to Adam. Both are created equally in God’s image. It does however still imply a male leadership role, mainly (as the apostle Paul writes in Ephesians) stemming from the order of creation.
So we now have a clear distinction between man and woman in terms of their creation. Moving along in Genesis to the third chapter, we are presented with the fall of humankind into sin. The actual occurrence of the fall into sin begins with the Eve’s deception, and her and Adam’s partaking of the forbidden fruit. When God learns of what has happened, he first curses the snake that deceived the couple, He is angered and says to the woman.
“I will surely multiply your pain in child bearing: in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16, ESV).
Now, this shouldn’t necessarily be taken at face value. For example, the NLT translation of this portion of scripture says the following:
“And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16, NLT).
What is being described here is not simply a punishment on Eve as much as it is on the couple’s marriage together. Primarily, instead of a peaceful, complementary and helping role to Adam, Eve will now desire to take control of the marriage. Adam on the other hand will no longer seek to be a loving, protective, and spiritual leader, but will “rule over” Eve. “Rule over” in this case carries a negative connotation, which is an obvious contradiction to the New Testament instruction for the ideal marriage dynamic (specifically the man's treatment of the woman).
“Let us make man in our image, after our likeness… So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:26-27, ESV).
To clarify if there is any misunderstanding, “man” is a term used to here to describe generically “mankind” and not simply the male form of humanity. Now, this is really the only mention of the creation of man and woman in Genesis 1. God blesses them to fill the earth and saw that they were good. Moving on to Genesis 2, which many misinterpret as being somehow dislocated from Genesis 1, we find a more detailed account of the creation of humanity. Using a literary flashback, we are taken to the day of creation from Genesis 1 “when no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up…” (Genesis 2:5, ESV). First, Adam is created:
“… And there was no man to work the ground, and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground – then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature” (Genesis 2:5-7, ESV).
After Adam was created, he was placed in the Garden of Eden alone to care for the beautiful place. However, Adam was alone… and God did not see this as a good thing. This is where the discussion of marriage and the role of the woman begins.
God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18, ESV). “The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:20-22, ESV).
I want to stop here momentarily to discuss the term “helper” used to describe Eve’s purpose with Adam. Often, I believe, people interpret this and use this term to undermine the woman’s role within the sanctity of marriage. After all, isn’t a helper someone who does the bidding of another? Well, not exactly. In the case of Eve, a helper is meant to mean the one who will give strength and support to the one being helped. This does not at any point along the way indicate that the woman is any less a) created in the image of God, b) weaker than the man, c) inferior to the man. Returning to verse 18, the meaning of “fit for him” can also mean, “corresponding to” Adam. Are man and woman literally created as equal or images of one another? No. However, again it is not implied that Eve is inferior, but rather complementary to Adam. Both are created equally in God’s image. It does however still imply a male leadership role, mainly (as the apostle Paul writes in Ephesians) stemming from the order of creation.
So we now have a clear distinction between man and woman in terms of their creation. Moving along in Genesis to the third chapter, we are presented with the fall of humankind into sin. The actual occurrence of the fall into sin begins with the Eve’s deception, and her and Adam’s partaking of the forbidden fruit. When God learns of what has happened, he first curses the snake that deceived the couple, He is angered and says to the woman.
“I will surely multiply your pain in child bearing: in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16, ESV).
Now, this shouldn’t necessarily be taken at face value. For example, the NLT translation of this portion of scripture says the following:
“And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16, NLT).
What is being described here is not simply a punishment on Eve as much as it is on the couple’s marriage together. Primarily, instead of a peaceful, complementary and helping role to Adam, Eve will now desire to take control of the marriage. Adam on the other hand will no longer seek to be a loving, protective, and spiritual leader, but will “rule over” Eve. “Rule over” in this case carries a negative connotation, which is an obvious contradiction to the New Testament instruction for the ideal marriage dynamic (specifically the man's treatment of the woman).
WOMEN IN MARRIAGE
This then leads our examination directly into the New Testament, and specifically into the book of Ephesians to begin. Ephesians 5:22-30 states:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 3:22-24).
Before people grab pitchforks and torches and run to my house to burn it to the ground for being sexist and a radical, let’s first look at the significance and meaning of these two verses; notably the word, “submit.” Submission can mean several things today. Today, we usually we hear the term used in a negative context. For example, if you submit to me, I have complete domination over you. You are in some way less than I am. However in the context that Paul uses it, if submission were to mean inferiority, it would directly contradict the equal nature of man and woman in God’s image depicted in Genesis. Additionally, men are not to be thought of as dominating women. This placement of gender roles is specific to the holy unity of marriage and does not deny the equality of creation in Genesis 2. The role of the male as the head of the marriage is meant to be one of love, health, and spirituality as is outlined later on in the scripture. It also does not mean that this rule applies outside of marriage. The modeling of the marriage as a church seeking the Lord here in fact not only emphasizes the woman’s submission to her husband, but also signifies the duty of the male to be a sound spiritual leader.
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body” (Ephesians 5:25-30, ESV).
I know, that’s a bit lengthy, but it is essential to understanding how important BOTH roles are in marriage. Often, people are offended at the idea that the woman is submissive to her husband; yet they forget the literal sacrificial nature of the love and devotion a husband must also give to his wife. Just as Christ gave up his life for the church, so too must men give themselves up to the spiritual strength and cleanliness of his wife. Men cannot literally wash their wives of sin, but they can entirely promote a healthy spiritual life. The reference to “his own flesh” clearly reflects the origin of Eve from Adam’s rib in Genesis 2, and emphasizes the oneness that should be felt within a marriage. Again, the roles of a male and a female are different. Men should lead their wives and take upon themselves the spiritual preservation and strength of their wives, while women should completely respect the leadership of Paul concludes his discussion of marriage by summarizing; “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
I feel it is essential to stress how the manipulation of the scripture has been used to enforce a male dominated society, and, in many ways justify the assertion of dominance over the woman in marriage in a non loving and non compassionate way. To be a spiritual leader is not to be dominating. Society places a negative light on gender roles within marriage; roles that were established by God, for the preservation of a holy and spiritually sound unity of husband and wife. If we are to be Biblical in our understanding of the truth of women’s roles in marriage, we must all of us recognize the importance and gravity of what they do.
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life" (Proverbs 31:10-12, ESV).
Proverbs 31 presents the reader with a beautiful illustration of a strong and faithful wife, who is supportive of her husband; she both treats him well, and he is able to trust in her. She is one who is loyal to her husband, he has not to worry about adultery, and he "trusts in her" completely. I would like to add to this too however. I find that one important aspect of doing the husband well is prayer. A good wife should pray that God would be with her husband to help him lead and guide their family. We all know the benefits of prayer. Therefore, what better way to bring good upon one's husband than to pray for him all the days of his life, through good times and bad.
Man could not be without woman, for before her presence he was alone and in need of a compatible partner to strengthen him. Women should respect the man as a spiritual leader and loving partner that will guide them and protect them. Men should strive daily to be as godly towards their wives as possible in their love for them. Men should sacrifice themselves in order to preserve their wives goodness. For women who are not married… I personally stress the importance of finding a man who will always place you before himself. One who will guide you through your family’s spiritual journey and will love you deeply as Christ loved the church. Women, you are crucial to the sanctity of marriage and to God’s world entirely. Let no one tell you otherwise.
To conclude, something should also be said about both genders and their compatible roles within marriage. Whether a man or a woman, do not forget that love must be at the center of your unity. Love for one another; yet most importantly love for God. I leave the topic of marriage with this:
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 3:22-24).
Before people grab pitchforks and torches and run to my house to burn it to the ground for being sexist and a radical, let’s first look at the significance and meaning of these two verses; notably the word, “submit.” Submission can mean several things today. Today, we usually we hear the term used in a negative context. For example, if you submit to me, I have complete domination over you. You are in some way less than I am. However in the context that Paul uses it, if submission were to mean inferiority, it would directly contradict the equal nature of man and woman in God’s image depicted in Genesis. Additionally, men are not to be thought of as dominating women. This placement of gender roles is specific to the holy unity of marriage and does not deny the equality of creation in Genesis 2. The role of the male as the head of the marriage is meant to be one of love, health, and spirituality as is outlined later on in the scripture. It also does not mean that this rule applies outside of marriage. The modeling of the marriage as a church seeking the Lord here in fact not only emphasizes the woman’s submission to her husband, but also signifies the duty of the male to be a sound spiritual leader.
“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body” (Ephesians 5:25-30, ESV).
I know, that’s a bit lengthy, but it is essential to understanding how important BOTH roles are in marriage. Often, people are offended at the idea that the woman is submissive to her husband; yet they forget the literal sacrificial nature of the love and devotion a husband must also give to his wife. Just as Christ gave up his life for the church, so too must men give themselves up to the spiritual strength and cleanliness of his wife. Men cannot literally wash their wives of sin, but they can entirely promote a healthy spiritual life. The reference to “his own flesh” clearly reflects the origin of Eve from Adam’s rib in Genesis 2, and emphasizes the oneness that should be felt within a marriage. Again, the roles of a male and a female are different. Men should lead their wives and take upon themselves the spiritual preservation and strength of their wives, while women should completely respect the leadership of Paul concludes his discussion of marriage by summarizing; “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
I feel it is essential to stress how the manipulation of the scripture has been used to enforce a male dominated society, and, in many ways justify the assertion of dominance over the woman in marriage in a non loving and non compassionate way. To be a spiritual leader is not to be dominating. Society places a negative light on gender roles within marriage; roles that were established by God, for the preservation of a holy and spiritually sound unity of husband and wife. If we are to be Biblical in our understanding of the truth of women’s roles in marriage, we must all of us recognize the importance and gravity of what they do.
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life" (Proverbs 31:10-12, ESV).
Proverbs 31 presents the reader with a beautiful illustration of a strong and faithful wife, who is supportive of her husband; she both treats him well, and he is able to trust in her. She is one who is loyal to her husband, he has not to worry about adultery, and he "trusts in her" completely. I would like to add to this too however. I find that one important aspect of doing the husband well is prayer. A good wife should pray that God would be with her husband to help him lead and guide their family. We all know the benefits of prayer. Therefore, what better way to bring good upon one's husband than to pray for him all the days of his life, through good times and bad.
Man could not be without woman, for before her presence he was alone and in need of a compatible partner to strengthen him. Women should respect the man as a spiritual leader and loving partner that will guide them and protect them. Men should strive daily to be as godly towards their wives as possible in their love for them. Men should sacrifice themselves in order to preserve their wives goodness. For women who are not married… I personally stress the importance of finding a man who will always place you before himself. One who will guide you through your family’s spiritual journey and will love you deeply as Christ loved the church. Women, you are crucial to the sanctity of marriage and to God’s world entirely. Let no one tell you otherwise.
To conclude, something should also be said about both genders and their compatible roles within marriage. Whether a man or a woman, do not forget that love must be at the center of your unity. Love for one another; yet most importantly love for God. I leave the topic of marriage with this:
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
WOMEN IN THE CHURCH
Let me begin this second section on the role of women in the church with a note of warning. Unlike the relatively modest language that illustrates the roles of men and women in marriage, much of the language used to describe the roles of women in the church can be sound and feel a bit… shocking. Please understand that this language is that of Paul (primarily) and not my own; we are looking for the overall truth in the message here.
To begin, let us examine what Paul has to say about women in the church in his letter to Timothy.
“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor” (1 Timothy 2:11-14).
I say we analyze that, shall we? Most people when reading a verse such as this remove the apostolic authority of Paul. Some say that, “because Jesus did not directly say this at some point, it cannot be authoritative.” Well, that is not correct. Paul was an apostle, and Jesus gave the apostles authority for the future founding of the church and spreading of the gospel. So Paul does have the authority to make these organizational statements for the church. Namely in this case, that a woman should not teach nor be in a pastoral/leadership position over men due to two main reasons: 1) the order of creation, Adam came before Eve; 2) Eve was the one who sinned first by taking the forbidden fruit and handing it to Adam. On the creation of Adam before Eve, Paul again is not saying that Adam is created to be higher than Eve in terms of being equally created in the image of God, simply that because of the order of creation the man should be the leader.
Another note on this piece of scripture is that it does not forbid women from teaching to other women, nor does it forbid women teaching to children. These are both areas in which women can shine forth in their spiritual gifts! In today’s world, women’s ministries are extremely helpful and in higher and higher demand as society and culture seek to corrupt young women of God. Children are the future of human kind! The way they are taught and raised shapes the future of our world! As Christ says to the apostles concerning children, “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is the one who is great” (Luke 9:48, ESV).
As with marriage, the Bible tells us that the role of women does not lie in direct leadership. I cannot emphasize enough though the importance of understanding that this does not restrict women in leadership roles outside of the church. Women as CEO, as President, as soccer coach, etc., are all acceptable and encouraged. The entirety of what Paul says is that women should not assume leadership over men within the realm of Scripture and Spiritual growth. Period.
To begin, let us examine what Paul has to say about women in the church in his letter to Timothy.
“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor” (1 Timothy 2:11-14).
I say we analyze that, shall we? Most people when reading a verse such as this remove the apostolic authority of Paul. Some say that, “because Jesus did not directly say this at some point, it cannot be authoritative.” Well, that is not correct. Paul was an apostle, and Jesus gave the apostles authority for the future founding of the church and spreading of the gospel. So Paul does have the authority to make these organizational statements for the church. Namely in this case, that a woman should not teach nor be in a pastoral/leadership position over men due to two main reasons: 1) the order of creation, Adam came before Eve; 2) Eve was the one who sinned first by taking the forbidden fruit and handing it to Adam. On the creation of Adam before Eve, Paul again is not saying that Adam is created to be higher than Eve in terms of being equally created in the image of God, simply that because of the order of creation the man should be the leader.
Another note on this piece of scripture is that it does not forbid women from teaching to other women, nor does it forbid women teaching to children. These are both areas in which women can shine forth in their spiritual gifts! In today’s world, women’s ministries are extremely helpful and in higher and higher demand as society and culture seek to corrupt young women of God. Children are the future of human kind! The way they are taught and raised shapes the future of our world! As Christ says to the apostles concerning children, “Whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. For he who is least among you all is the one who is great” (Luke 9:48, ESV).
As with marriage, the Bible tells us that the role of women does not lie in direct leadership. I cannot emphasize enough though the importance of understanding that this does not restrict women in leadership roles outside of the church. Women as CEO, as President, as soccer coach, etc., are all acceptable and encouraged. The entirety of what Paul says is that women should not assume leadership over men within the realm of Scripture and Spiritual growth. Period.
CONCLUSION
In conclusion, in both sacred areas, marriage and the church, the roles of women are not to be that of a leader or head. The task of spiritual leadership and teaching (to a public congregation including men), has been given to man by God. If we are to adhere to and respect the teachings present in the Bible, then this is simple truth. In no way is it meant to subtract the importance of a woman’s roll in creation, in the church, and in marriage. Women are crucial to the perseverance of the human race, they are crucial to the health of a spiritually centered marriage, and they are crucial in many areas of ministry to both children and women. Outside of the church it is abundantly clear the beautiful importance of women in the positions and achievements that we have seen them reach.
Coming from a male perspective, women are to be treated as if they are a princess of the Lord. They are beautiful, smart, and seriously capable of achieving everything that a man can and beyond… outside of where God has made men the leaders. As a man, I also take very seriously the implications of how I am supposed to treat my future wife. Scripture makes it very clear the gravity of the assignment God has placed on men to lead, support and sacrifice out of love for their wives’ spiritual health and wellbeing. It doesn’t matter who makes the most money. It doesn’t matter who cooks, who cleans, who takes care of the baby. In a short summarizing sentence: Men and women are created equally in the image of God for salvation, and have been assigned differing spiritual gender rolls based upon Biblical circumstances and the divine law of God, creation and the apostles.
By: Will Gardner (A College Faith)
Coming from a male perspective, women are to be treated as if they are a princess of the Lord. They are beautiful, smart, and seriously capable of achieving everything that a man can and beyond… outside of where God has made men the leaders. As a man, I also take very seriously the implications of how I am supposed to treat my future wife. Scripture makes it very clear the gravity of the assignment God has placed on men to lead, support and sacrifice out of love for their wives’ spiritual health and wellbeing. It doesn’t matter who makes the most money. It doesn’t matter who cooks, who cleans, who takes care of the baby. In a short summarizing sentence: Men and women are created equally in the image of God for salvation, and have been assigned differing spiritual gender rolls based upon Biblical circumstances and the divine law of God, creation and the apostles.
By: Will Gardner (A College Faith)
If you have specific questions about what you have read here, please feel free to contact me!
REFERENCES:
Crossway Bibles. ESV: Study Bible: English Standard Version. Wheaton, Ill: Crossway Bibles, 2007. Print.